Sunday, 16 November 2014

Dear Diary - New Life

Dear Diary,
It has been over a month since my parents left me here and there’s still no cute boy in sight. In this time, I have gotten used to these tiny rooms; and as difficult as it was, I have also learnt to live with half armoire. Imagine the horror.
Our professor Sunday-morning-love-you is probably the most congenial professor in the history of mankind; but innuendos sail over his head. Especially his. In a session he caught everybody’s attention by dropping the word “sex” and went on to say, “Our desires are insatiable; motivation is a lubricant”.
The only things I remember after that were him offering somebody a push and puns on hand-to-gland-combat. From what I have heard, he kept on saying “I’m hot. I’m hot. I’m hot” in some class, all because the AC was not working. I wish more professors were like that.
Now, this place is really interesting with all kinds of groups, races, and ethnicities. These two girls we ran into were introducing themselves. They simply went like “Hi! We are bongs!”
I sat there staring at the two of them for I don’t know how long, trying to comprehend the message while freaking out about being expelled along with the two. The intelligent phrase that came out of my mouth was “What?”
Apparently a Bong means a Bengali. Definitely not one of my brightest moments in life.
I also have to admit that both, men and women, here have delectable spankable bottoms. Acting on this urge, one day a girl got up, rubbed her hands together and loudly spanked some guy’s bottom whose only crime was that he was passing by. Everybody stopped; except for that fellow with abused bottom.
He walked to the end of the road, stopped, and started patting his still stinging bottom, trying to soothe away the pain. Speaking of abused bottoms, people here have a weird reaction to the trailer of 50 shades of grey. Men who haven’t read the book are dying to go for the movie, and women who have read the book are disappointed with the trailer. I don’t understand, the people who liked the series but hate the movie, what did they expect from the movie?
The other day I heard this guy in MIP team who has the most perfect pectorals and the most enviable flat tummy, he not only manages studies and MIP work, but he also makes time for gym. What’s wrong with this guy? I’m willing to bet that this guy has a time machine or a time-freezing machine. I would happily trade my soul for that gadget and flat tummy.
My friend was telling me about the fabulous view he gets from his window in hostel 3. I tried to pry out more information from him about this tantalizing view but he just wouldn’t tell me. That was so not fair. I pestered him. Finally he muttered intense CPR. What does that even mean?
We had this event where all the finance heads from various companies flew down to Manipal who went out of their way to bore us. These guys were capable of boring the very devil to tears. I wish we could give away onion awards.
Not only were the students meditating during the lectures but also the guests. How much do these people speak? One guy distributed his content in his lecture and started reading it. Even our professors are not that serious about teaching.
Dying to Write More
The Girl Hiding Behind Glasses

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